Wednesday, October 15, 2014

The Phases of Downtime

My apologies for the overabundance of blogs. Hope you enjoy.
Written during "Randomly Productive Phase".

This Isn’t Actually Happening Phase
I don’t actually need downtime. I’m not actually not training. You still show up to workouts only to be turned home. Eventually acceptance wins (or the insistence of your coach with the threat that he will add an additional week to your downtime) and you spend a good day or two just moping in disbelief.

Rage Phase
You aren’t winning at downtime if you aren’t winning the party.

Maximal Exercise Phase
You accept that you aren’t allowed to do your sport but you do every other activity in order to maximize physical activity. This can also take the form of daily three-hour walks with lots of instagramming.
Exhibit 1 - Excessive instagramming
Treat yo’ self Phase
Buy things, eat yummy things, go to fancy places….you feel as if you need to be rewarded for a year of hard work and also for being so good at downtime!

Build Things Phase
Also could take the form of “Bake Things” phase. Struggling with the need to feel productive, you try to rejoice in the process of assimilating a bunch of little pieces into something whole.

The world is cruel and downtime sucks and I have no friends.

I Need a Puppy Phase
It will be the solution to all of my problems! And I have SO much time!

Random Productive Phase
Usually near the end of downtime. You start to miss having a schedule so you make yourself busy. Catching up on appointments, emails, cleaning, expenses, homework…even organizing things…it magically gets done.

I Ain’t Goin Back Phase
You start to get comfortable with going to bed late and waking up at 10am. You don’t mind lazy mornings spent reading a book with a coffee and your feet up while your breakfast sizzles on the stove. Training seems like a thing of the past and you feel you could live this way forever.
Every day is a Sunday.

Twitchy Eye Phase
Your body seems to be rebelling against you. Your legs want to seem to move fast again and your arms start randomly swinging around in a freestlye stroke pattern. It is not uncommon to spontaneously break into a flurry of pushups. Your body craves movement.

The First Day Back
Diving in the pool you feel like a beached whale that is missing its tail and one of its eyes and that has forgotten how to swim.

 Everything Hurts Phase
You avoid hard wooden chairs at all costs. You need assistance to raise your arms above your head. Laughing causes you to grimace.
Your ask your body why it hates you so much.

The I Will Never be Fit Again Phase
When did training get so hard? You call off your season and your career and start to evaluate various life paths in your head. Maybe moving to California and living under the sun and selling ice cream to all the happy children isn’t such a bad idea after all.

The Return to the Grind
You wake up. You train. You eat. You sleep.
Life has returned to normal.